Side note: This post was written during one of my slumpier reading moments. It's a nice little musing piece, I suppose, but it's also got some reading updates.
I really don't like dropping books. My sequence of events typically goes a little something like this:
- Dragging out the reading of said draggy book.
- Start reading other books (usually two or three others) and finishing them.
- Reading one or two more chapters of said draggy book to try to make some progress.
- Read and finishing reading more books (usually another two or three).
- Continue dragging out the reading of said draggy book and convincing myself that I will come back and finish it... after I've read this other, more exciting book I've been dying to read!
- Read one more other book that holds more appeal.
- Start realizing my own futility and grudgingly admit that maybe it's time to put down said draggy book.
- Start reading other books that sound more promising.
- One and a half months later, after having started reading said draggy book, put the book on an 'ON HOLD' shelf, because obviously I won't be touching it any time soon, but I have plans to come back and test my stubbornness once more, even if I have to skim read the first half of the book again.
- Update lists accordingly then brood about the fact that I had to put a book 'ON HOLD' for a couple hours before returning to the rest of the my reading list.
And there that book remains on an 'ON HOLD' shelf for at least six months before I finally concede to either drop it completely ("I'll probably never touch this book again, for reasons.") or stick it back on my TBR ("I'll come back and try again when I've had time to let said draggy book's events fade from my memory so I can start over from the beginning and hopefully have better luck."). Either way, I know I haven't fully dropped the book yet and there is still hope.
Why on earth am I so stubborn about dropping books?
I chalk it up to simple stubbornness. Or maybe the fact that, if I've put enough effort into reading approximately 50% of the book, I feel like I should just finish it. And sometimes I look back on a lot of other books I have read to completion, knowing full well that I didn't really like them and think that I can just do the same.
I don't know what it is. I should be able to just set a book down and walk away and not feel bad about it. I really should.
And normally I can finish a book I'm not getting into. But to encounter three at the same time is probably a record for me. Maybe that's why I'm having a harder time this time around, because I'm trying too hard to finish all three of these books that I am not really getting into. And while Promised is a fairly easy read, I'm still struggling with it rather than breezing through it and calling it done.
Why do I do this to myself?
Ani's First World Bookish Problems #11: The desire to finish every book you start, but not knowing when (or wanting) to stop struggling with a book you're not enjoying.
(Yes, we are reiterating this First World Bookish Problem.)
Anyway... Let's call a rant a "rant". 'Cause this is what this really is.
I'm putting An Ember in the Ashes on that dreaded 'ON HOLD' shelf, finally; however, since I got about halfway through the book, I still believe I'll be able to come back and finish it some time later. I own it as a Kindle book, so it's not like I have to go digging for it in the future.
Because Rook is a borrowed library book, I'm going to try what I can to finish reading it. To be honest, I'm bored with it because I'm frustrated at not understanding the setting or the story or even the characters. But I keep getting this slight hint that SOMETHING is about to happen and it might be exciting. Chances are that nothing is going to happen and I will have wasted my time. But I'm crossing my fingers with some hope, because I really DO like Sophia Bellamy's character on paper, even if she's kind of dull in action.
And, for the life of me, I really don't know why I even bothered to read Promised. I read and enjoyed Birthmarked despite it being just a mediocre dystopian read. But at least it was a pretty good story. Then I struggled through Prized because, "What the heck happened here?" and also, love polygon... or tetrahedron, if we want to be specific.
And I know it's been at least two years since I read Prized, because I just wasn't quite interested in finishing the series even if the idea was in the back of my head (which is why I added the darn book to two reading challenges so that I could make myself read the last book in the trilogy...), but I've found myself wondering if this series' story line has always been so confusing. Did all the characters make sense in the previous books? Because they don't in Promised. Was Gaia always so emotionally immature and naive? Did she always make really bad decisions and break at the slightest drop of a pin?
And why are we still rehashing the love tetrahedron if Gaia has already chosen her Leon as her OTP? Can we not focus on more important life or death matters without dragging up the whole "Everyone is in love with Gaia because she's oh, so perfect in their eyes, even though she makes bad decisions based on emotions and has no sense of self-preservation or foresight to survival"?
And of course, I haven't dropped Promised yet. It's a fairly short book and I'll be darned if I'm done in by it when I'd been able to finish other, worse books before.
In the meantime, I'm finding a new book to keep me sane.
This musing was originally posted at Ani's Book Abyss / BookLikes in May 2015.